Rukia's Pregnant?
by Panda-Angel-Wings
Summary: "Nii-sama, I'm preganant." Rukia finally said. Byakuya flash stepped out of the Kuchiki Manor to kill a certain strawberry. Will Ichigo survive Byakuya's wrath? Kinda crack... By : AngelofDarkus


"Nii-sama."

There was no reply, only silence.

"Nii-sama."

Silence again and then a scratch on parchment.

"Nii-sama." Rukia tried for the third time. She sighed.

"Nii-sama, I'm pregnant."

Byakuya Kuchiki spit out his latte all over his wakame designs. His eyes were wide and his in rage. His gaze went from her face to her stomach (which was buldging from over-eating with Ichigo at Hershey Park, but that's another story. :P) Byakuya flash stepped out of the Kuchiki Manor.

'Shit.' Rukia thought.

Akon, the third seat of Squad 12, flash stepped into the room. Rukia stared at him.

"Um... Ms Kuchiki, your older brother used the new shunpo method to go to world of the living. He said something about 15 or a strawberry. Oh no wait, he said he was going to murder 15 strawberries. I guess he's hungry, but you should probably go check it out."

"Akon, I gotta go," Rukia replied. "Tell the elders that my wedding will be postponed for probably a month."

This left Akon very confused. _What wedding?  
_  
Meanwhile Ichigo was in his room eating curry when Byakuya flash stepped in.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, what have you done to my sister?"

"Huh? Is Rukia with you?" Ichigo asked, looking happy.

"I will repeat this only once. What have you done to my sister? Why is she pregnant with your child?"

"Huh? Rukia's pregnant-" Ichigo began.

"Bankai. Chire Senbonzakura Kageyoshi." Byakuya interrupted.

Ichigo was barely given any time to respond so he was dancing around trying to avoid the flying pink petals. Isshin and Yoruichi (who was having dinner there for some reason) heard the commotion and came to investigate.

"Ichigo what's going on?" Isshin asked.

"Oyaji! Help me!" Ichigo said. He was cut in a few places, and he looked tired.

"Byakuya? What are you doing here? More importantly why are you bankai-ing my idiot son? I have to pay for the damage you know - so stop." Isshin said.

"Oh Byakuya-bo. What did Ichigo do to piss you off?" Yoruichi teasingly asked.

Byakuya ignored Yoruichi and spoke to Isshin. "Your idiot son has disgraced my little sister."  
"You used protection right?" Yoruichi asked.

"Rukia said that she is pregnant." Byakuya continued.

"So no protection was used? Shameful." Yoruichi commented.

"Ichigo! You have to get married to Rukia soon so she can become my official third daughter." Isshin exclaimed.

"It's not like that!" Ichigo tried to say.

Byakuya managed to pin him down and take a sword in his hand. He was going to end this pride destroying child's life here and now. He held the blade near Ichigo's heart, when Rukia flash stepped in.

"Rukia!" Ichigo croaked with a sigh of relief following soon afterwards.

"Nii-sama! I was joking I'm not pregnant." Rukia explained. "I just needed your attention."

Byakuya glared at her looking annoyed and angry.

Yoruichi started to laugh really loudly."Byakuya-bo! You're so gullible! Your sister tricked you. Bakamono!"

"That's what I've been trying to fell you. We've been going out in secret for a few months." Ichigo explained.

"We went out to Hershey Park, I got some free passes. That what I wanted to tell you, Nii-sama." Rukia added on.

"What? That's worse." Byakuya lowered his sword dangerously close to Ichigo's heart. Ichigo felt the tip of the sword poke him.

"Byakuya that's enough - or should I start telling stories about you and Hisana?" Isshin responded. "So my idiot, when are you going to get married?"

"I don't know Oyaji. It looks like I'm gonna die here." Ichigo said.

Byakuya removed the sword from Ichigo's heart. Ichigo immediately got up and went to Rukia's side.

"Byakuya-bo, we should go before you explode." Yoruichi said.

"I'm warning you Kurosaki Ichigo, if you ever do anything to my sister, I will personally kill you. Rukia, you're lucky I'm not going to kill him - yet." Byakuya threatened.

"Thank you Nii-sama and I'm sorry for the misunderstanding." Rukia apologized.

Byakuya nodded to show that it was okay. Ichigo watched as Yoruichi, Byakuya and his official girlfriend flash stepped out of his partially destroyed room.

"So Ichigo, when am I getting grand babies?"

* * *

**So this one was made by me, Laiba. What do you think? Obviously, it's not as boring as Sabrina's stories *-* Jk, Sabby**

**What do you think? I worked hard on it...:D Might make a sequel, if I get reviews! (and time) **

**Sayonara, suckas!**

**~Laiba**


End file.
